SadhanaOriental Meditation and Christian Prayer
Contemplation in action
ーIn relation with othersー
[7] Trying to forgive
In our daily life and relationships with people, we cannot lay too much emphasis on the importance to forgive.
- When we forgive, we can avoid that relationships with others get complicated.
- When we forgive, we can feel happiness more often.
- When we forgive, we can reduce unpleasant and complicated feelings. Therefore, it is highly effective in keeping the peace of mind.
These perspectives reflect our hope that our life goes smoothly.
When we go beyond these aspects and come to the point to wish to encounter God in our daily life, then we need to look at our forgiving attitude from broader and deeper perspectives.
We are all children of God. We are God’s precious children. So when we value people, it means that we value God as well.
At the same time, it is often difficult to forgive people in actual situations although we fully realize such connection with God. We encounter thoughtless words and deeds of our neighbors or foolish mistakes of people. When we face such occasions, we often feel that:
- I was emotionally hurt.
- My life was disturbed.
- I suffered a significant loss.
- My progress was badly distracted.
In such cases, it is very difficult to forgive. But let’s try to tell ourselves, “I have to manage to forgive this person because God wants me to.”
There are three main motives to forgive: (1) I am no different from the person who caused me trouble. I also hurt people and bother them. I am completely the same as this person, and there is no excuse. (2) It is obvious that Heavenly Father wants me to forgive this person. (3) Jesus went through such sufferings on the cross so that the Father forgives my sins.
Based on this recognition, we want to keep forgiving people as much as possible. Let’s try to tell ourselves the importance of forgiving people because of these facts.
When we have difficulty in forgiving people, it is sometimes because we do not forgive ourselves. Let’s pray so that God helps us change it. We condemn ourselves like, “I am pathetic. I could have made my life more spectacular and graceful,” or “I made this big mistake, which significantly degraded my life plan,” or “I am incompetent. I should have been esteemed more highly.” When we do so, it is difficult to forgive others.
We also want to break away from the tendency not to forgive ourselves who cannot attain the too great (or too sophisticated) image that we set for ourselves. Forgiving ourselves for what we cannot do well may lead to forgiving others as well.
When we keep forgiving people who cause us unreasonable pain, we can feel that our way is getting closer to God’s way. We feel that our heart is pulled up. We are blessed with the feeling that our value in life is based on something celestial, noble, and eternal. And we are blessed with a serene and peaceful feeling.