SadhanaOriental Meditation and Christian Prayer

My experience of Sadhana sessions

Reflection of My First Sadhana

　I experienced my first Sadhana about twenty years ago from now. Though I tried practicing it on my own by reading “The Eastern Meditation and Christian Prayer”, I recall that I had difficulty to actually get into imaginative prayer of Sadhana
　Even then, I still remember clearly to this day one prayer of that time. .It was a session to look for your own statue at an art museum.  In the museum, I walked and walked and finally found, not a statue, but a pile of white sand that stood like a thick and gentle mountain on a stand.
　At that time, since I was devastated and crumbled into pieces due to human relational problems, when I saw it, I immediately knew, “This is me.” The pile of sand, with its small sand particles, reflected some light and twinkled.  As I enter in it, Jesus saw me and came near me.  When he stood in front of me, He scooped some sand in his right hand, and let it sift in between his fingers and said, “This is good.  It can be recreated the way you want it to be.” After Jesus had left, the gentle pile of sand had a rough surface; it was a print of a hand that clasped it. When I saw it, I thought to myself, “I liked the way it used to be…” I might have thought like that because I resisted changing myself. 
　Twenty years have passed since then. Looking into my diary, I have done I/II/III levels, and I have experienced Sadhana ten times. However, I don’t know why but I threw away the record of this first experience and I don’t have it anymore.  As I reflect now, I think I have surely recreated myself over the years as the Lord has desired. 
　The imaginative prayer of an art museum is one of my favorite prayers that I try to do each turning point of my life. In that prayer, I unconsciously see the statue of my “present self.”  The statue I see is surprisingly unlike me, but the figure is strangely convincing to me. 
　What is more delightful is that I myself with flesh and blood can meet Jesus. Jesus totally affirms “the present me,” and on top of that, invites me to another step.  Even if it is in an imaginative world, for me that is the truth. I thank that I was able to encounter the “Sadhana” prayer. 
(50 year old woman, Hokkaido)